bad things happen in threes

So many things on my mind and it's only 6:12 am. Let me start by saying, I love lists. Absolutely adore them. So I'm breaking down this post into 3 bullet points before diving headfirst into it all in a few paragraphs.

• I almost committed murder this morning.
• My car kinda sorta might have it out for me...but not really.
• People in high school have lost all of their senses and there's no solution.

So...from the beginning.

This morning I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm. For the record, I have 3 alarms that go off on mornings that I have to work because I have to be at work by 3:45 am which means I need to be out of my bed by 2:15--no big deal. Anyway, I have an early alarm at 1:35 so that my brain is completely ready for the second alarm at 1:45 and then the third alarm at 2:05. It may seem excessive, but those three alarms (all music) ensure that I'm in the best possible mood.

Moving forward, I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm...now for some people, this may be a terrible thing, but I don't mind it. So, it's 1:25 am, and I'm laying in my bed with my eyes open when I hear it. This terrible sound coming from my younger sister as she grinds her teeth in her sleep. In that moment, all joy that I got from hearing this song (it brings me to pleasant memories of this summer) was GONE. I instantly switched over to I want to kill you mode.

My first defense? Holding her nostrils shut until she opened her mouth to gasp for air then telling her, in my sternest voice, stop grinding your teeth! I then allowed her to go back to sleep and don't you know she starts up AGAIN. This time, I reached into her mouth and manually pulled her teeth apart. SUE ME. So after that, she went back to sleep and didn't do it again...but by that time, I'd left the room to take my shower.

So, on my way to work, I was blasting my music as usual, having a great time. I cross over the bridge to get into Philadelphia for work and because I don't have an EZ-Pass, I always pay the tolls. I give the man my money and head on over before realizing that my window won't go up. Mind you, I'm going around 50 mph, it's about 30 degrees outside, and my heat isn't quite kicking yet. I get over the bridge, still trying to get my window up, and it just won't budge. So now I'm on I-95 and you can't go 50 on I-95. So I'm hitting somewhere around fastenoughtogetpulledoverbutnotquitepushingit and--you guessed it--window still stuck down. So I did what any smart driver does, blast my music 5x louder and hold that button until some action happened.

In time, it did.

Thank GAWD.

And finally...a video that sums up everything that that last bullet point says.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure they're broken up now...but best of luck to them and to her, because I think the whole thing is foolish. Get the hell out of dodge talking 'bout "I absolutely love you" after one week.

Just GET OUT.