guilty pleasures

9/365: In a past life, I like to believe that I was a food photographer…it's like I see food, I want my camera, it just happens. I have so many pictures from lunch with my mom today that it's kinda ridiculous.

Anyway…today my mother and I went to Seasons 52 for a lunch date. Let me just say, that the relationship I have with my mother is near and dear to my heart. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but at this point in life, we've determined it's a lot easier to just accept the things we have in common rather than harp on the things we disagree upon, for example, rather than argue about my choice of men, we discuss our shared guilty pleasure of Rihanna's Talk that Talk.

This was my mother's first time at this particular spot which happens to be one of my favorite places to eat in the area, so I made sure to ensure she had a good time. After a drink, we had a long talk about jobs, boys, family stuff, and plenty more but what really stuck out to me in our conversation was an idea my mom had about why things hadn't been working out with me landing a job.

My family is pretty spiritual, we have a deep faith in who God is, what He can do, and what He will do--plain and simple. We aren't perfect, we don't claim to be, but that's what we believe in, and my mother threw something at me that made sense. Generally speaking, you hear the phrase, God won't put more on me than I can bear, and my mom said, what if I'm blocking my blessing by not making the preparations I need to in order to survive. Let's be clear, regardless of whether you rock with the Big Man upstairs or not, my mom had a point. If I were to get a job anywhere right now, I'd be in a piss poor position.

I have no money saved, very little in my checking right now, and if I were to get a job tomorrow, there would be no money to put down on a deposit, no money to move all my stuff, nor would there be a way for me to eat. When you say that that situation would be too much for little ol' me to bear--you wouldn't be too far from the truth.

In lieu of this whole conversation, we came to the conclusion that in the grand scheme of things, if I wanted something to happen for my life, I really needed to push for it, fight for it, but even more important, I needed to prepare for it.

P.S. If everything goes well this weekend, I might have an aweeeesome story for y'all next week about my participation in something really big! I'm actually more than a little bit excited. :)