2012 wishlist

2011 had a lot of great things for me. I graduated from the University of Florida, got my first job working in television in a large market, crossed some things off my bucket list, started a blog...kinda stopped it...then started a new one, met a bunch of new people, interned with a great website, started doing Youtube videos, went to Toronto and played mas, and made plenty of investments that I'm sure will stick with me for the long haul as long as I continue to commit. Taking all that into account, I have high hopes for 2012.

To begin with, I have chosen a song to be my theme for the year--judge all you wish, it won't change how I feel about it. I present to you Ashley's Theme for 2012:

Why I Was Here by Beyoncé? The song is, to me, simply a testament to doing the best that you can do, leaving an impact, and quite literally, doing everything that you wanted to do...and that my friends, is exactly what 2012 is going to be about. Rather than giving myself resolutions (though I do have a list of goals and things I'd like to achieve) I'm just going to do my best every single day to achieve everything that I possibly can. For me this is travelling, landing the job of my dreams, getting out of credit card debt, living my life in a fashion that I want to.

I recently did the Meyers-Brigg's personality test and found that I was an ENFJ (Extravert iNtuitive Feeling Judging) and with that knowledge came a better understanding of myself. It's actually kind of dead-on as far as how I work mentally, emotionally--all that stuff, and now armed with that bit of knowledge, I go into 2012 with a better understanding of how I work.

So what does this mean? Maybe nothing to y'all--but to me, it's simply a promise to myself to be the best Ashley that I could be. So here's to achieving goals, living life to the fullest, and having another great year.

Happy New Year's.

late gifts

I debated long and hard whether or not I really wanted this picture to represent today…I mean, it is the last day of the year, generally the picture one would assume is being taken has more to do with the celebration the person is having or the end of their year or whatever else, but I really wanted to take this picture because it has some meaning and who knows, maybe it'll end up being a perfect way to end the year because it stands for a possible new beginning? Who knows, let me not read too far into it. Anyway...onto the picture:

11/365: I refuse to ever say that good men who listen, have manners, and possess a good sense of humor don't exist. They do. In real, every day life. I received a Christmas gift from my date last night that proved his genuine interest in me (though that wasn't something I was questioning) and showed that he truly, honestly listens...and truth be told, I made it easy...but that's neither here nor there. 

This is my first Christmas gift from a man who is interested in me--or at least the first one that has had enough impact that I know I'll want to remember it. Francine Rivers is one of my favorite authors, her books are based on Biblical history and made into Christian literature and they are hard hitting, my favorite being Redeeming Love--super amazing. Anyway, this book has five novellas that each tell a story about a woman that God chose, in this case the subjects are Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary...of the five, I'm most looking forward to Rahab and Bathsheba. 

I'm really looking forward to reading this and I'm also looking forward to what happens with this man. As far as what I'm doing for New Year's Eve, well this also kinda ties into my plan since the only thing I have planned for sure is going to church with my sister though I'm sure we'll have other things that we'll be doing afterwards. All that being said, I hope you have a great time celebrating the new year! I might be posting some more stuff today, we'll see what the day has in store by way of having time for anything else. 

square one

10/365: This morning, Lauren Sivan tweeted something along the lines of how questioning her career choices as she woke up 10 mins before her alarm went off at 1:15 am…hmmm…this sounds a lot like something I wrote the other day. Anyway, I hit her with a tweet and she actually ended up favoriting (that's totally not a verb, I know--but it fits) it…the gist of it was simply me agreeing and saying that we're gluttons for punishment for working in morning news.

Anyway, that has little do with this picture and yet has everything to do with this picture. Over the course of the past 36 hours, I've applied to 12 different reporting jobs across the country. We're talking Colorado, California, Montana, Indiana, South Carolina, Ohio, New York--if you're in television market 101 and higher (well, technically lower…), I'm looking in your direction for a position.

Today's picture is just a snapshot of what my life will be consisting of for the next few months. It's kinda crazy when I really think about it, the fact that I'm back at square one for the job search, but it is what it is. When you want something you go for it…plus, I'm not as broke as I was before cha-ching, today is pay day and also my last work day of the year…I'm looking forward to the day when I'm not broke period (honestly, I work in TV, so that day will never really come) but until it does, I'm doing my best with what I got.

P.S. I picked out my anthem for 2012…it's a song from this year, a ballad, that is my inspiration and my go to pick me up make me want to change the world song. I'm so happy for everything that's going to be happening in my life. It's going to be amazing. :)

because we all want to know

I'll be posting more today, of course, but this is definitely catching my eye (and a bit of my heart if you know my love-love relationship with JGL) and putting me in a fantastic mood as I enjoy my last work day of 2011!

the curly girl

I feel like if I wanted to rename my blog at some point, I'd want it to be that: "the curly girl"--but I'm sure that's taken or something…so I'd have to rename it something like…"the curly g"…where g could mean girl or gangsta (you know it had to come) or some other noun that starts with g that I can't think of for whatever reason. Or maybe I should be the curly ashley or the curly…idk…but I have a fro and she's been kept straight for the past few weeks and I was dying on the inside to let her back out. So I did.

Dear Santa,

Thanks for the Huetiful, you really did me a solid. I'll totally be using it at least once a week to maintain my curly happiness…unless I get a job…then I might not use it once a week since I'd need my hair straight…so it'd probably be once a month. BUT IT'LL GET USED…YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT.

Sincerely,
A Happy, Curly, Girl Named Ashley

guilty pleasures

9/365: In a past life, I like to believe that I was a food photographer…it's like I see food, I want my camera, it just happens. I have so many pictures from lunch with my mom today that it's kinda ridiculous.

Anyway…today my mother and I went to Seasons 52 for a lunch date. Let me just say, that the relationship I have with my mother is near and dear to my heart. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but at this point in life, we've determined it's a lot easier to just accept the things we have in common rather than harp on the things we disagree upon, for example, rather than argue about my choice of men, we discuss our shared guilty pleasure of Rihanna's Talk that Talk.

This was my mother's first time at this particular spot which happens to be one of my favorite places to eat in the area, so I made sure to ensure she had a good time. After a drink, we had a long talk about jobs, boys, family stuff, and plenty more but what really stuck out to me in our conversation was an idea my mom had about why things hadn't been working out with me landing a job.

My family is pretty spiritual, we have a deep faith in who God is, what He can do, and what He will do--plain and simple. We aren't perfect, we don't claim to be, but that's what we believe in, and my mother threw something at me that made sense. Generally speaking, you hear the phrase, God won't put more on me than I can bear, and my mom said, what if I'm blocking my blessing by not making the preparations I need to in order to survive. Let's be clear, regardless of whether you rock with the Big Man upstairs or not, my mom had a point. If I were to get a job anywhere right now, I'd be in a piss poor position.

I have no money saved, very little in my checking right now, and if I were to get a job tomorrow, there would be no money to put down on a deposit, no money to move all my stuff, nor would there be a way for me to eat. When you say that that situation would be too much for little ol' me to bear--you wouldn't be too far from the truth.

In lieu of this whole conversation, we came to the conclusion that in the grand scheme of things, if I wanted something to happen for my life, I really needed to push for it, fight for it, but even more important, I needed to prepare for it.

P.S. If everything goes well this weekend, I might have an aweeeesome story for y'all next week about my participation in something really big! I'm actually more than a little bit excited. :)

bad things happen in threes

So many things on my mind and it's only 6:12 am. Let me start by saying, I love lists. Absolutely adore them. So I'm breaking down this post into 3 bullet points before diving headfirst into it all in a few paragraphs.

• I almost committed murder this morning.
• My car kinda sorta might have it out for me...but not really.
• People in high school have lost all of their senses and there's no solution.

So...from the beginning.

This morning I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm. For the record, I have 3 alarms that go off on mornings that I have to work because I have to be at work by 3:45 am which means I need to be out of my bed by 2:15--no big deal. Anyway, I have an early alarm at 1:35 so that my brain is completely ready for the second alarm at 1:45 and then the third alarm at 2:05. It may seem excessive, but those three alarms (all music) ensure that I'm in the best possible mood.

Moving forward, I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm...now for some people, this may be a terrible thing, but I don't mind it. So, it's 1:25 am, and I'm laying in my bed with my eyes open when I hear it. This terrible sound coming from my younger sister as she grinds her teeth in her sleep. In that moment, all joy that I got from hearing this song (it brings me to pleasant memories of this summer) was GONE. I instantly switched over to I want to kill you mode.

My first defense? Holding her nostrils shut until she opened her mouth to gasp for air then telling her, in my sternest voice, stop grinding your teeth! I then allowed her to go back to sleep and don't you know she starts up AGAIN. This time, I reached into her mouth and manually pulled her teeth apart. SUE ME. So after that, she went back to sleep and didn't do it again...but by that time, I'd left the room to take my shower.

So, on my way to work, I was blasting my music as usual, having a great time. I cross over the bridge to get into Philadelphia for work and because I don't have an EZ-Pass, I always pay the tolls. I give the man my money and head on over before realizing that my window won't go up. Mind you, I'm going around 50 mph, it's about 30 degrees outside, and my heat isn't quite kicking yet. I get over the bridge, still trying to get my window up, and it just won't budge. So now I'm on I-95 and you can't go 50 on I-95. So I'm hitting somewhere around fastenoughtogetpulledoverbutnotquitepushingit and--you guessed it--window still stuck down. So I did what any smart driver does, blast my music 5x louder and hold that button until some action happened.

In time, it did.

Thank GAWD.

And finally...a video that sums up everything that that last bullet point says.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure they're broken up now...but best of luck to them and to her, because I think the whole thing is foolish. Get the hell out of dodge talking 'bout "I absolutely love you" after one week.

Just GET OUT.

window watching

8/365: I've always enjoyed watching sunrises and with my early morning schedule, watching them is almost always a part of my week. Every morning that I'm at work, this is my view. Today it came as a reminder that things always get better.

Yesterday it was stormy and pretty disgusting out, grey skies, cold wind, the works…today, even though it was still windy, the skies ended up being the most beautiful shade of blue with fluffy white clouds, just an all around lovely day. I've been pretty upset about things with me trying to secure this position and after having the door slammed in my face--albeit for good reason, there's no such thing as being "too experienced" in journalism--I got a text today that made me remember that it's certainly not the end of the world…and who knows, it could be information that gets me to my next spot.

I'm constantly reminding myself that when it comes to this job, competition will always be fierce. There just aren't enough reporting jobs out there and for every new reporter trying to get a start in the southeast, there's a more experienced reporter who's just trying to get out of the cold weather up north--just taking our jobs, no shame I tell ya.

mattress loving

This morning while at work, I happened to see a commercial for matresses bought at Sleepy's. As I was listening to the song, it started to bring up memories and I walked over to the TV trying desperately to remember what song was being covered. After 20 minutes of puzzling and a fruitless search on Google for "I love you more lyrics"--completely and totally pointless, roffle--I found other commercials by Sleepy's which eventually lead me to the commercial where as soon as I saw the title of the song, realized who it was by originally: The Beatles.

For your viewing pleasure:



**BONUS**: The commercial that lead me to their Youtube channel is a classic and I'm completely UNsurprised that this is what I ended up watching first, bwahahaha. Can we take note of the GREAT musical choices of the people at Sleepy's? My kinda job...but onto the commercial:

the dunkin donut chronicles

One of the advantages to having an entry level job at a television station is that I get the o'so glamorous task of getting breakfast for the anchors--I mean, who wouldn't want to stand outside Dunkin Donuts at 5 am to get coffee, donuts, and sammiches, amirite? *looks around* No? Okay, cool--difference of opinion, obvi.

So, up until a couple months ago, things were perfectly fine, probably because Hak was the manager of the store. He ran that baby like a well-oiled machine, 5 am, the doors were open, the donuts were seemingly fresh, and I could hand him a list and he'd have everything cranked out in 5 mins with a complimentary box of donuts for the worker bees in the newsroom. Talk about service.

You can imagine everyone's surprise when Hak was...disposed of.

It was like our world came to a stop, service hit a brick wall with the doors remaining locked until past 5:15 and we were forced to work with James, a tall, burly black man with hazel-colored contacts that often got our drink sizes wrong, forgot cream and sugar, or forgot drinks...in general. I was always a bit confused as to how he managed to do that considering he had a handwritten list in front of him with everything we watned. Pretty much it was the ultimate downgrade...the complimentary donuts stopped and so did our discounts.

What made the whole situation even worse was how oblivious James was to the fact that I wanted nothing to do with him. I don't know, I guess saying you're the shift leader at the local Dunkin Donuts is a hot pickup line for some ladies, but not for this one. Honestly, I don't trust any grown man with colored contacts, so batting those big fake eyes at me isn't getting you anywhere. To my displeasure, it's not just him who tends to give me extra attention at DD, I've also had the pleasure of attracting the attention of security guards from our building who like to make casual conversation with me. Now, because I have manners I respond back to what they say, but after 3 months of being super considerate, it got old, and I'm not sure how many monosyllabic answers I can give before he gets the clue that this girl is uninterested.

I know, I know...I really shouldn't complain that I get attention from these guys, but at the same token, it's unwanted...so what's the best way of telling guys to leave me the hell alone? Hmm? Someone. Please assist me.

tin tin and other family friendly things

I've been to the movies three times this week, thankfully not on my own dime, especially when you consider how expensive these things are getting. Today, my grandfather suggested I take my younger sister out to the movies, so I decided to watch The Adventures of Tin-Tin with her. Quite an enjoyable flick, cute and fast paced to keep your attention…almost too fast paced at the beginning, of course, I've never read the comic so maybe it's supposed to be like that? Regardless, it was a treat to watch.

…and from previews, I can tell that I'll be going broke in 2012 with all the movies that I'll be seeing, very exciting! I love, love, love movies, so I'm excited to get to check some out as well as get some good reading done.

I decided that another thing I should tack on my to-do list with resolutions is having a better relationship with family and friends. I'm actually really terrible at communicating, which is comical to me considering my desire to be a journalist, but I would like to get better. I blame it on my tendency to get bored with people. I hate talking to people on the phone, I don't necessarily even like being around people, not unless there's a purpose behind our being together--I suppose that would make me anti-social, but I would never be characterized as such because I seem really pleasant around others. Anyway, I decided to try my hand at being a better big sister and introduced my sister to Linkin Park, circa their Hybrid Theory days--sigh, back when things were easy. To my delight, she loves them. Thank you, Lord--because if she didn't, I might have to disown her.

breakfast love

7/365: I'm sure I'll eventually start posting pictures that aren't just for the 365er, but for now, I'm just happy to have made it through a week! Mini victories people, many victories come from seeing mini victories.

So, story behind this picture…this morning Mr. B and I met up for a breakfast date (because he owed me a meal) and we went to a local diner. It was a nice way to start the day, I ordered a breakfast combo not realizing just how much food I'd be getting--needless to say, it was far too much and I brought the best part home (untouched) for my younger sister to enjoy: cinnamon raisin french toast. Mr. B and I talked about his trip back to Atlanta, the sad state of music today, our grandparents (since we're childhood friends) among other things…he actually is probably back in Atlanta now.

At the end of the date he took a picture of us on his cellphone and gave me a kiss on the cheek, it was nice. He's a handsome fellow with long, lovely eyelashes and a smile that makes me melt just a little bit--but it's not okay to lust after him, he's a taken man…so I won't.

Remember, I'm not the homewrecking type.

starting over

You can't win 'em all, kid.

That's all that keeps repeating in my head, but I can't really call the situation I'm in a loss…long story short, I got the call that I was ranting about the other day and it didn't quite go as planned…but there is promise.

The basic facts: I didn't get the job in Panama City Beach…but it's for the same reason that I didn't get the other job that I interviewed for: someone with more experience was willing to do the same job for the same low price. It's what happens, you know?

The good part? They want to consider me for a job in the coming months…and THAT is promising for several reasons. Primarily that it can help me prepare for living on a budget, learning to cook, and all that other wonderfulness that I was speaking on yesterday. The real world isn't something I'm necessarily prepared for, but now I've gotten my foot in the door and while it seems to be almost closed in on me, it isn't…not just yet. So, now I have a plan of things that I'll be doing and preparing and luckily, I'll have even more time up here…the downside: winter is coming…and I haven't dealt with snow in 11 years.

Oh joy.

big sister bonding

6/365: I've been super blessed to have an amazing family that supports me in pretty much everything I do, but I don't get to see them all that much since I graduated from high school. Upon graduating from college, I was able to move in with my grandparents and that was great, an awesome arrangement that has lead to many great discoveries about myself and my abilities…all that aside though, I do miss having time with my sisters.

I have 4 sisters, all but 2 have different parent combinations and should my now separated father and step-mother decide to make more children with other people, well…the family tree of siblings will just grow more. Today, I tried to spend more time with one of my younger sisters, Aaliyah. She fought the reading bug for awhile, but it has finally grabbed her enough and now I've got her reading The Hunger Games on her new Kindle in preparation for the movie. We went shopping (or at least attempted to) earlier today before linking up with family to see Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, which was pretty…impossible. The plot of the story at least.

All that being said, today was a good day. Plenty of giggles to go along with my not so happy time that I blogged about a bit earlier…but such is life.

SN: I got in contact with the guy…and now we're talking tomorrow morning. We shall see!

monday madness

So it's the day after Christmas and everyone knows that that means it's shopping time…however, given my financial state, I've opted out of these traditions, although I will be taking my little sister out for a day so she can blow all her money on cute items from our local H&M.

All that being said, I had a miniature mental breakdown this morning as it hit me that if I get this job in PCB, I will be on my own…and that is terrifying for several reasons. The biggest obviously being my complete and total inability to budget to save my life. However, after a reassuring conversation with a friend of mine, I'm a bit more confident in asserting my independence as well as looking forward to setting forth on my own.

Speaking of this PCB job, I cannot tell you of anything that I've dealt with in recent days that has been more frustrating than the back and forth craziness I've been dealing with. The man who will be my boss is a complete and total…I don't even know what word to put to him. I'm sure in person he's a lot more efficient, but to put it lightly he has now failed to live up to his word three times. THREE TIMES. He's apologized profusely and just pushed things off further and further and I've gotten to a point where I'm just tired of the whole process that it takes to actually GET a job.

Sigh.

Who knew that dealing with people could be so aggravating?
Oh wait. I did. From 3 years working as a resident assistant and several years (you know, my whole life) being let down by others and being told that it's my own fault for expecting people to live up to their word.

[/rant]

hair care christmas

5/365: Merry Christmas, again! What a day it's been. Lots of fun with the family as I got to meet my new cousin, as pictured, and play games and be all sorts of happy with them. I gave my parents, grandparents, and sister the cards that I wrote out thanks to my brokeness and it went over very well, though my parents were sure to give me a bit of a talking to about how I need to take better care of my finances.

In other news, Santa clearly wants me to take better care of my hair. I was given a Huetiful Steamer as well as a deep conditioning products and a new flat iron. After looking it up, I might just stick with the ones that I have, the reviews aren't exactly stellar, but I'll check with my hair dresser and I'll see how it works on my own hair. Anyway, I'm super excited about the steamer, it's something that I wanted over the summer and I had pretty much forgotten about it because I'd been doing bootleg steaming, but now I can get legit. I'm actually super excited.

Hope your Christmas was fantastic and that you got to spend it with your loved ones!

The bible is a hot book.

4/365: So, yesterday I gave a brief synopsis of what my day entailed.

Yesterday started off with a date with an ex-flame, Mack. Probably one of my favorite formers because he's an all around sweet guy who I can discuss my current dating life with to get input from a guy who won't judge me too harshly.

We went out to get Chinese food and then he brought me home to pick up money from my parents to get gift cards from one of my favorite restaurants...then he went through the lovely process of driving me over there and then we went inside and had drinks and dessert, all on his dime, before I had to go over to church to run media. It was a blast.

So after working at church for 4 hours, I was ready to relax, but then I got a text from a family friend, Mr. B. Now, Mr. B is someone that I had a crush on at one point, but it's one of those pointless crushes because he has a girlfriend and I'm not the homewrecking type. That being said, he owed me a date and a still owes me a meal which I'll be cashing in on Monday or Tuesday morning.

So last night we went to the movies for the 9:35 pm showing of The Sitter which was incredibly inappropriate and therefore hilarious...however, the movie didn't start (as in PREVIEWS) until about 10:30 pm. Yes. We all sat in the movie theatre for almost an hour waiting for the movie to start and they had the COLOSSAL nerve to play the previews still. (._.)

However, because of our patience, we all scored free passes to see a movie and it's good until Sept. 2012, so I'll be cashing in on this soon enough. Score.

drinks on deckington

Tonight was ridiculous.
Today was ridiculous in general.

Brief synopsis: 2 great dates with 2 great guys, lots of laughs, Chinese food chats, a late movie, and how I saved the Christmas Eve service at church--but not really--but kinda sorta.

My picture for the day was taken at 11:57 pm. Needless to say, I'm too tired to type the entire post that goes with it, but it'll be up today.

Merry Christmas. :)

being broke on christmas

3/365: Nothing sucks more than being broke around Christmas.

I checked my bank account this morning to see what I could afford to get for my parents, grandparents, and little sister--because those are the only people I can even think of buying something for--and I was hit hard by the balance.

Literally, $0. In checking and savings. I thought maybe there was a mistake, but no--everything documented told me the same thing. I only had the $18 in cash to my name to spend on gifts. All things being considered, I knew that things would be tight this year, but had no idea how tight. I don't get paid until next Friday, I still have to get to work and currently only have a 1/4 tank of gas...and let's not talk about tolls or paying for parking.

Thankfully it's Christmas, so the flip side of this depressing situation is that I will probably get some sort of money. Hell, I'd be happy with $30 to my name because then at least I could use what's left of that $18 (I spent around $5 on cards) for gas and then use the $30 for tolls and parking.

With that being said, my resolutions for the new year obviously have something to do with saving money, because my current situation is not something I ever want to deal with again. Though I'm sure my family will appreciate the love that will be going into these cards, I wish I could do what I normally would which is buy them something nice...or at least make something.

Next year, a lot of things will be changing. Am I ready? Of course not. But I'm starting to plan now so that I can act accordingly.

horoscopes don't lie

It is 6:20 am and where am I? Where I always am at the end of the week, work...been here since 3:45 am, I don't have a problem with that either--I thoroughly enjoy my job 2/3 of the time--but as I sit here waiting for more things to kick off in my life, I can't help but be anxious.

For those of you that don't know, I've been at my current job for almost 6 months and for the most part, I've been satisfied, but recently I've found myself bitten by a bug that craves some forward movement. To add to that, the only place to really go from this job is somewhere I don't actually want to be. So I do what any smart person does...I start to look elsewhere...and that looking may be paying off soon.

I've been in a slight run around situation with a television station in Panama City Beach, FL. Mostly, it's been a situation where they've been busy with Christmas and New Years' specials, so scheduling interviews has been more than a simple task. I've been paying a bit more attention to my horoscope (I know, I know...corny) but it's a bit interesting that what's being said lines up with what's happening.

On the 9th, it said that things would start falling in place for me when it came to work, I happened to apply to the job (among several others) that day and heard back from them that day. My career will alledgedly start to really come together and boost some forward movement right after Christmas. Ding ding--I've been going back and forth trying to make these interviews happen, specifically to set up an interview with the general manager of the station. The news director is in charge of this and, by no fault of his own, we haven't been able to get in touch. People have been out of town, he's been having to pick up quite a bit of slack--so we finally talk again and now we're scheduled to discuss my interview with the GM on Monday.

The day after Christmas.

I know, it could just be a coincidence, more likely than not, it's just how things happened to play out...all I'm saying is that things have been preeeeetty accurate.

take care

I've really fallen hard for Drake's new CD and especially his new single of the same title, Take Care. I found out the other day that he chose the song with Rihanna to be next and I kinda freaked a little because the song just resonates with me...I know, that calls for some serious judgment, but hear me out on this.

I've asked about you and they told me things
But my mind didn't change yet, I still felt the same
What's a life without fun, please don't be ashamed
I've had mine, you've had yours, we both know, we know


Those lines really meant a lot to me, mostly because I've been the girl in this situation. I've been the girl that a guy had to take care of because someone broke my heart and then I put it all on them...and to say I didn't have the most pristine reputation would be a bit of an understatement...I don't even want to go into it. Anyway, this part of the song, as well as others, really got to me.

I've never been a huge Drake fan, but I've found myself really liking him more and more recently because he's just...relatable. Where Kanye and Jay-Z purposely went out of their way to show off their money in Watch the Throne, Drake has been finding more and more ways to humanize his music and even when he's talking irrationally (like, I'm not dropping 50K on my friends and fam, I don't have a single K to drop...on anything...if I had it, I'd need to drop it on my credit card payment lawdhamercy) he still has a way of making it very...real. I appreciate that.

black santa

2/365: So today's picture is my "Welcome to Christmas in Mt. Laurel," lol.

Seriously.

It's not Christmas at my grandparent's house without dear ol' black Santa Claus twisting and turning with a candle in one hand and a tree in the other, standing on a box, with poinsettias arranged around him.

Every year he's out here. I love it. My younger sister is here, my parents will be up here tonight or really early tomorrow morning and it'll start to feel like Christmas for REAL. On the flip side, I have zero gifts bought.

None.
Zilch.
Nin.

I've had a horrible time with my finances, so I'm thinking this year, everyone will get a heartfelt card with a lot of words on the inside...hopefully that'll be enough. Who knows? Next year though, it'll be different.

my first

By technical standards, this picture is on time. I took it yesterday and somehow forgot to post it--my procrastination is a real problem. Anyway, this is my first picture for my 365 project, it's me, plain and simple, and it makes sense that this would be my first picture, I mean, it's my blog, it's about me, and the pictures are showing me so it just...I'm not sure why I'm explaining this to you, but anyway, this is just one thing that I'm going to finish in this year-long period and I cannot wait.

In other news, my date last night went well and he continues to prove to me that chivalry isn't dead. Never have I ever had the opportunity to be so spoiled and it's great. It's funny because he's showing me the difference between saying you're a "nice guy" and what it means to actually be a nice guy. So many dudes seem to think that being a nice guy means giving the girl whatever she wants, but that's being a doormat. Crazy. I've dated many doormats in my day and while that's a lot of fun to an extent, it's also a good amount of work, why? Well...dating someone who doesn't have their own brain can be annoying. If you're just going along with whatever I say, I get bored and this guy, he's not that. He's shown me that when it comes down to it, a nice guy is really just a gentleman. Period. He has truly raised the bar on what I expect and want out of a man and thanks to him, if our third date is our last, I may never be happy again because I've yet to meet a man who steps up in the way this guy does.

Great.

sign of the times

So the world is supposed to end a year from today according to the Mayans and though I'm not into any of that mumbo jumbo crap, I will indulge in something that I've been meaning to do for the LONGEST time...as in, this has literally been on my mind and in my bucket list of things to do that never got accomplished and now is the PERFECT time to get it done. So, starting tomorrow, I'll be doing a 365 blog. That's right, every single day, I'll have at least one post with a picture...and if there are really 366 days left in the year (since next year is a leap year) I'll have one day to go back and re-live each picture and every moment--talk about perfect timing.

For once, my procrastination has paid off. 


And should the world not end on December 21, 2012, even better...I've put together a year in photos. I'm actually giddy with excitement...it's almost too much for me to deal with...so much so, that I had to write a second entry for the day.

Yeah--that means I'm serious, b.

On top of that, it means I get to break in my Canon Rebel even more...holy crap, the good things just keep on rolling in, I swear. So prepare for pictures and words and feelings and all sorts of stuff to be piling in very soon.  I'm ecstatic.

SN: I have a date tonight. That's the other reason for this post because for once, I'm dealing with someone who has an inkling of potential and I might not even get to really enjoy it all the way because I might be getting a new job...but I probably won't talk about that really until sometime next week when I have some more information. All I know is that if it all works out, I'll be moving from the northeast back into the south and I'll have a beach right in my backyard. No complaints here.

blank slate

I love fresh starts...there's something about starting over that has a strength to it. I was feeling a bit claustrophobic on my old blog--and while it's still active, I realize that it's my safe place and after having it for a few months, I've realized that it's not where I want to be because it isn't an accurate depiction of me. I can't be as personal as I'd like because honestly, I'd love to be able to look back at these entries and say, yes, this is what I was feeling, I can't say that fully with my site.

It's not that there are too many eyes, it's just the eyes that are looking aren't the ones that I want on my stuff. Strangely enough, linking things to my Facebook wasn't my smartest choice--who knew? Well, I did--but I didn't realize there'd be so much that I would want to talk about but have to keep to myself, honestly it's difficult juggling an explicit existence when some know your more modest demeanor. Actually, it's tiring.

I'm at a crossroads of sorts as I delve into 2012 preparing to take more care of myself financially, physically, and spiritually, but I'm far from where I want to be in all those categories...I don't even want to think about the other things that plague my psyche such as my life romantically--that in and of itself is just dizzying.

All that being said, it's a fresh start. Hallelujah, holla back.