that's not racist, right?

If I had to give two words to describe this video, they would be hilarious and accurate…and I ain't mad about it. As a black girl who went to school with a lot of white people, in the south no less, comments like these were so common, it's more than a little ridiculous.

This video is the spawn of the "Sh*t Girls Say" video that surfaced less than a month ago which brought along "Sh*t Black Girls Say" "Sh*t Black Guys Say" "Sh*t Asians Say"--you get the picture. It's basically turned into a meme and while it's mostly comical, some of the stuff does raise a few eyebrows when you think about the actual context. Sure, we're not getting offended when we show it as a parody, but when it's actually happening?

Let me give you an example:

Somewhere in this video, the girl says something along the lines of, "The Jews were slaves, but you don't see us complaining about it." One day at my job, I found a piece somewhere on the Internet that spoke on how black people don't want an apology for slavery, they just want people to address the fact that it happened…there's no museum to commemorate the fact that this entire country was built on the backs of slaves…and before we get into any sort of disagreement about how bad slavery was for other races, let's consider the fact that if a white slave had a baby, that child was not considered the property of the slave's owner…but I digress…anyway, there hasn't been any sort of formal recognition of slavery in the United States. So we start having a discussion at the news desk and eventually someone else decides to pop their head in and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "You know, I get tired of hearing black people complain about this--I mean, no offense Ashley, but my ancestors are Irish, we went through the same thing and things are fine now."

Hold the entire eff up.


My anger at her wasn't as much about the fact that she compared her Irish ancestors to mine…but more because after that discussion started and I tried to explain the fact that she was wrong, the conversation morphed into one about rights and how things are still unequal for black people…and she kinda wanted to blame black people for the problems…and I mean, I guess she's kinda right considering that we can't change our skin color to look more like our Irish brethren. What crappy luck, right? I know.

All that being said, the video really brought the whole situation back to light for me because it's something that isn't really talked about. Sure, it's joked about among friends and every now and then a couple of my coworkers (who were completely shocked that she'd say something like that to begin with AND are white) jokingly say: "Oh c'mon Ashley--you don't know what a real struggle is--I mean, look at my Irish ancestors."

bad things happen in threes

So many things on my mind and it's only 6:12 am. Let me start by saying, I love lists. Absolutely adore them. So I'm breaking down this post into 3 bullet points before diving headfirst into it all in a few paragraphs.

• I almost committed murder this morning.
• My car kinda sorta might have it out for me...but not really.
• People in high school have lost all of their senses and there's no solution.

So...from the beginning.

This morning I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm. For the record, I have 3 alarms that go off on mornings that I have to work because I have to be at work by 3:45 am which means I need to be out of my bed by 2:15--no big deal. Anyway, I have an early alarm at 1:35 so that my brain is completely ready for the second alarm at 1:45 and then the third alarm at 2:05. It may seem excessive, but those three alarms (all music) ensure that I'm in the best possible mood.

Moving forward, I woke up 10 minutes before my first alarm...now for some people, this may be a terrible thing, but I don't mind it. So, it's 1:25 am, and I'm laying in my bed with my eyes open when I hear it. This terrible sound coming from my younger sister as she grinds her teeth in her sleep. In that moment, all joy that I got from hearing this song (it brings me to pleasant memories of this summer) was GONE. I instantly switched over to I want to kill you mode.

My first defense? Holding her nostrils shut until she opened her mouth to gasp for air then telling her, in my sternest voice, stop grinding your teeth! I then allowed her to go back to sleep and don't you know she starts up AGAIN. This time, I reached into her mouth and manually pulled her teeth apart. SUE ME. So after that, she went back to sleep and didn't do it again...but by that time, I'd left the room to take my shower.

So, on my way to work, I was blasting my music as usual, having a great time. I cross over the bridge to get into Philadelphia for work and because I don't have an EZ-Pass, I always pay the tolls. I give the man my money and head on over before realizing that my window won't go up. Mind you, I'm going around 50 mph, it's about 30 degrees outside, and my heat isn't quite kicking yet. I get over the bridge, still trying to get my window up, and it just won't budge. So now I'm on I-95 and you can't go 50 on I-95. So I'm hitting somewhere around fastenoughtogetpulledoverbutnotquitepushingit and--you guessed it--window still stuck down. So I did what any smart driver does, blast my music 5x louder and hold that button until some action happened.

In time, it did.

Thank GAWD.

And finally...a video that sums up everything that that last bullet point says.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure they're broken up now...but best of luck to them and to her, because I think the whole thing is foolish. Get the hell out of dodge talking 'bout "I absolutely love you" after one week.

Just GET OUT.

the dunkin donut chronicles

One of the advantages to having an entry level job at a television station is that I get the o'so glamorous task of getting breakfast for the anchors--I mean, who wouldn't want to stand outside Dunkin Donuts at 5 am to get coffee, donuts, and sammiches, amirite? *looks around* No? Okay, cool--difference of opinion, obvi.

So, up until a couple months ago, things were perfectly fine, probably because Hak was the manager of the store. He ran that baby like a well-oiled machine, 5 am, the doors were open, the donuts were seemingly fresh, and I could hand him a list and he'd have everything cranked out in 5 mins with a complimentary box of donuts for the worker bees in the newsroom. Talk about service.

You can imagine everyone's surprise when Hak was...disposed of.

It was like our world came to a stop, service hit a brick wall with the doors remaining locked until past 5:15 and we were forced to work with James, a tall, burly black man with hazel-colored contacts that often got our drink sizes wrong, forgot cream and sugar, or forgot drinks...in general. I was always a bit confused as to how he managed to do that considering he had a handwritten list in front of him with everything we watned. Pretty much it was the ultimate downgrade...the complimentary donuts stopped and so did our discounts.

What made the whole situation even worse was how oblivious James was to the fact that I wanted nothing to do with him. I don't know, I guess saying you're the shift leader at the local Dunkin Donuts is a hot pickup line for some ladies, but not for this one. Honestly, I don't trust any grown man with colored contacts, so batting those big fake eyes at me isn't getting you anywhere. To my displeasure, it's not just him who tends to give me extra attention at DD, I've also had the pleasure of attracting the attention of security guards from our building who like to make casual conversation with me. Now, because I have manners I respond back to what they say, but after 3 months of being super considerate, it got old, and I'm not sure how many monosyllabic answers I can give before he gets the clue that this girl is uninterested.

I know, I know...I really shouldn't complain that I get attention from these guys, but at the same token, it's unwanted...so what's the best way of telling guys to leave me the hell alone? Hmm? Someone. Please assist me.